You usually don’t find dummies hanging out at the library.
But Monday’s summer reading program at the Tahlequah Public Library was a rare exception.
“I’m a ventriloquist,” Gary Owen said to a room packed full of youngsters.
“That means I’m a guy who plays with dolls and talks to himself.”
The first doll Owen pulled out of his big box of dummies was Willard, a duck who aspires to be a movie star and prefers to be called “Superduck,” or “Double-O Duck,” or simply “Duckman” (ala Spiderman, Batman, and other assorted superheroes whose names are based on some seemingly nonthreatening animal or another).
Owen insisted, however, on calling him “Willard,” and since Owen is the ventriloquist, what he says goes (even when it’s not really what he’s saying.)
As an aspiring actor, Willard must, of course, read scripts. And since reading scripts requires the same kind of skills as reading anything else – like, say, a library book – Willard is a pretty good reader.
(See where this is going?)
Willard’s next big movie, evidently, is “Dances With Ducks.”
“It’s about ab’duck’tion,” Willard told Owen (or, rather, Owen told himself, but we’ll stick with the suspension of disbelief for the duration of this story).
“And it has ‘foul’ play.”
Once Willard and Owen traded some parting insults over Willard’s attempt at singing (”That sounded like a lousy trumpet” vs. “You’re a lousy ventriloquist!”) and Willard did his celebrity imitation (”Aflac! Aflac!”), Owen brought out his next dummy, Bufford T. Possum, who – sticking with the theme – loves to read nursery rhymes – and then recite them with slight, yet humorous, modifications.
Owen also brought out a strange little beast that he described as a “dinodog.”
“I found him in the back yard a few years ago, when he was an egg,” Owen told the kids.
“I hatched him, and we raised him, but we raised him with puppies, so he thinks he’s a dog. So I went to the library, because I needed to learn about dinosaurs, and I needed to learn about dogs. I also taught him how to be a ventriloquist – by reading a book, I taught him how to bark without moving his mouth.”
And, indeed, “Sparky” could do just that, imitating a German shepherd, a poodle, and a Chihuahua without moving his mouth – amazing stuff!
Then, once “Sparky” was put away, and “Pepto-Bismol” emerged.
“Why would I want with a dummy named Pepto-Bismol?” Owen asked.
“Because, everybody knows you’ve got diarrhea of the mouth!”
As readers can probably tell by now, Owen’s dummies aren’t always very nice to him.
But they do have some pretty good jokes, like this one from Pepto.
“What did they call Ol’ McDonald when he joined the army?
GI-GI-Joe!”
Next weeks summer reading program will be held Monday, June 18 at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m., and will feature magician Rob Holladay.
For more information, call the Tahlequah Public Library at 456-2581.
Contact Eddie Glenn at eglenn@tahlequahdailypress.com.
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Dummies take over Tahlequah library
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