TAHLEQUAH — Babies coo, crawl and toddle when they’re ready, and parents patiently wait and watch for those momentous “firsts.” But when it comes to potty training, many parents feel challenged, and instead of taking the cue from the child, may push ahead for their own convenience, rather than wait until the small one is emotionally and physically ready.

According to experts, forcing the issue can actually slow the process and harm the child.

As children learn new abilities, the more praise they receive, the more they are inclined to repeat the tasks. Introducing them to the awareness that they can control their bodily functions is a whole different concept.

Two keys to making potty training fun, easy and successful are waiting until the child indicates an interest, and resisting the urge to scold or punish for accidents.

Children all grow and mature at different rates, so watch for signs they’re ready, like taking off a soiled diaper and wanting to be cleaned. Some will even take off their diaper before soiling it, telling parents they need to go to the potty.

“Don’t force it; they will do it when they’re ready,” said Heather Winn, Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service educator. “My boys were 2 and 2-1/2 when they quit wearing diapers. Of course, they need encouragement, and summer is a great time to try because boys can go outside.”

She put Fruit Loops in the toilet so the boys would have something to aim at for target practice.

“My mom said she took me to the potty when she went and turned on the sick faucet,” Winn said. “It’s a little harder for girls to go outside.”

Parents should wait until the child reaches the appropriate age, said Dr. Gary Gaston with NEOHealth.

“For girls, it’s about age 2, and boys closer to 2-1/2 to begin pushing it,” he said. “Some babies show interest earlier; allow them to use the toilet or potty chair. Trying to get them interested. Underwear with super hero characters did it for my son, and panties with pretty flowers got my daughter interested.”

When they’re interested, they’re about ready, Gaston said.

“Pulling diapers off when they’re dirty and want to be clean or when they can tell you they’re ready, is a good indication it’s time to start,” he said. “Take them when they wake up or right after they eat; the body helps you then.”

Praise encourages children to want to please the parent and themselves. Pushing too soon can be detrimental.

“If they produce a specimen, praise them. Don’t get mad or push them,” he said. “Be relaxed. If you try too early. The kids get frustrated and angry and develop anger issues and sometimes need therapy.”

Like many first-time mothers, Kace Rodwell asks others – like her pediatrician – for advice.

“Some people tell me early is better, but most say to wait until she’s ready,” Rodwell said. “She’ll take off her diaper and let you know when she has to poop, so I set her on her potty as much as possible.”

Melissa Wofford, mother of a girl and boy, has her own advice.

“We had success with Caleb by putting a little spritz of soap in the toilet before he would use it, so that when he went, it made an exaggerated amount of bubbles, made it fun and helped him with his aim,” Wofford said.

Ashley Zillyette-Melendrez has two children: Halle, 9, and Noah, 14 months. She’ll be teaching Family and Consumer Science at a high school in the fall.

“Toilet training is a concern for most parents, and there are various viewpoints by both experts and parents. Some believe in a flexible approach and put off potty training until the child shows signs of readiness, while others take a more rigid approach, believing that it should be done early and quickly,” Melendrez said.

She’s have heard a lot of different tips from parents. Some use M&Ms, stickers and toys as rewards; others use Cheerios for “target practice.” Some children respond really well to “big-kid pants” and musical potty chairs, and many dads find it effective to take their young boys to the bathroom with them each time.

“I think it is very important for parents to accept and embrace that each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another,” said Zillyette-Melendrez. “Parents should keep a positive attitude and give the child a feeling of active participation, control and independence. I think it is interesting that in the 1950s, over 90 percent of children were trained by 18 months. Currently the average age for a girl to be toilet trained is 29 months and 31 months for boys.”

 The guidelines of the America Academy of Pediatrics suggest there is no set age, and that training should begin when the child shows signs he is ready.

“Patience, praise and positive expectations worked with Halle. I plan to do the same with Noah, along with his daddy’s help,” Melendrez said. “With Halle, the biggest challenge was she didn’t want to stop playing to go to the bathroom, and of course, that would result in her wetting her pants. I sat her down and talked to her one day – she was around 2-1/2 – and told her I knew she was capable of going to the bathroom every time, and I expected it. After that, she never once had an accident. Amazing how much children believe in themselves if someone else does!”

Tamarkia Fisher, Children’s First registered nurse for the Cherokee County Health Department, offers pointers for parents.

“Toilet learning is usually achieved between the ages of 2 and 4, so be patient and have fun,” she said.

 Some important things to remember when it comes to toilet learning:

• Every child toilet learns at his or her own pace because each child is different.

• Praise is a much more effective technique than scolding.

• Shaming a child or forcing her to sit on a potty will only delay toilet learning and can negatively affect self-esteem.

• Nighttime toilet learning can take much longer.

 Helpful pointers for getting started:

• Familiarize the child with the bathroom and potty chair and terms, such as “wet,” “dry” and “potty.”

• Look for the child’s signs of readiness, such as hiding to have a bowel movement or removing soiled diapers, and longer periods of time between wet diapers.

• When children wake up from naps, try placing them on the potty if they are willing.

• Praise, praise, praise!

 

Learn more

For more information, go to  http://www.ok.gov/ health/documents/Toi let%20Learning.pdf.