Tahlequah Daily Press

Features

July 1, 2009

Girls often live what they learn

In today’s society, many girls need positive role models.



If you have a daughter chances are you already know who Brittany Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsey Lohan are.

And it probably concerns you a little when you see their antics publicized and accepted by the general public.

If their “role models” are behaving in such a way, you might be wondering how long before your daughter may see this as OK.

Michelle Parnell, youth services coordinator for the Tahlequah Public Library said there is always a need for strong role models.

“It’s important to have them,” she said. “They see us every day doing what we are supposed to be doing and it gives them the opportunity to grow.”

Parnell said being a great citizen is really important.

“You can help in the simple ways, like helping a mom struggling with children by opening the door. You can do it by smiling at someone. Even being out in the public every day, knowing they (children) are watching me every day.

She said what they see and what they perceive is a person larger than life sometimes and they want to follow what you do.

“I can’t go to Walmart without someone saying hey I know you,” she said. “I was getting ice one day and I had another kid come up to me and just talk. Imagine how they would feel if I was doing something inappropriate — and how devastating that would be. It is so important when you are in the public eye to do behave in a way that is befitting your position.”

Anytime in your in the public eye from superstars to an every day ay, kids are watching you, everything you do and say.

In a survey conducted by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers in England found that inappropriate pop stars and celebrities topped the list of role models for adolescents.

“Sadly, far too many adolescent and teenage girls in the U.S. have lost the confidence and self-esteem they possessed in grade school,” said Barry Hoffman, author, former grade school teacher of 30 years and father of three. “They are exposed to characters in contemporary literature and media who play second fiddle to male leads or are portrayed as weak and submissive, following teenage boys as if they don’t have a mind of their own.”

Popular book and film franchises such as the current hit “Twilight,” are hyped as premier young adult entertainment. Some criticize the hit series that has reached millions of teens and tweens, as not giving the proper role model, where Bella, gives her mortal soul and life to be with her crush Edward, her teenage vampire boyfriend.

Joyce Rose, business community liaison for Talking Leaves Job Corps, said she thinks children are watching too much TV.

“They see these models and young girls growing up way too fast,” she said. “Instead they need to realize it’s their mothers, sisters, grandmothers, and even community people who are the ones they need to be paying attention, too.”

Rose admits when she was young she had to learn the same way others do.

“Young ladies take a little more time to realize these people are actually a lot smarter than they thought they were,” she said. “It’s harder for young ladies these days than it was for me. They are constantly accosted with images from all different sources than just TV. They have the Internet and cell phones and it just goes on and on.”

Rose said that no matter what kind of influence popular culture has on these children, she believes if you show you truly care about them, they will listen.

“I have been working with teens for a long time,” she said.

“They realize you are not judging them, instead you are helping them, and they do listen.”

Other studies issued by organizations such as the National Eating disorders Association, Temple University and the Girl Scout Research Institute show that girls are consistently faced with negative messages in pop culture.

Whether it’s the unattainable body image or teaching them to be submissive, it affects the ability for young women to feel strong enough to do things on their own, or be OK with who and what they are.

This is in stark contrast to real-life positive role models like Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Meg Whitman (the candidate for governor of California in 2010), and, of course, Oprah Winfrey.

“Parents and teachers need to provide adolescent girls with reading material that will empower and excite them, by showcasing female characters to whom they can relate,” Hoffman said. “Unfortunately, there aren’t enough books like this.”

Hoffman, who is the author of “Curse of the Shamra,” incorporated a strong female character who takes control of her own life rather than being defined by her make or other hierarchical or social relationships.

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