Columns

Columns

On tabloids, celeb affairs and bats in the belfry
I’m simply beside myself over the news that Kristen Stewart has cheated on Robert Pattinson. How can we ever go on?

July 30, 2012
On John Wayne, alcohol, flashers and ‘Alien’
One of my all-time favorite movies – certainly my top pick in the horror/sci-fi genre – is “Alien.” Though it came out in 1979, it may impress you to know I even remember the date I saw it in the theater: June 11.

July 26, 2012
Birthdays and cakes, and why we let them eat it
I’m not that big on birthdays. Since everyone on the planet has one every year, there’s nothing unusual about them – unless they’re attached to a body that’s been inhaling air for over a century. Call it a combination of factors: frugality, a genetic Poindexter trait; one too many birthdays, the acknowledgment of which eventually becomes redundant or downright embarrassing; or forgetfulness, a byproduct of way too many birthdays.

July 16, 2012
Hogs will win by losing
July 16, 2012 1 Photo
Can you be a Poindexter if you don’t like PB?
In both my nuclear and extended families, peanut butter has always been a serious issue. Everyone loves it, and everyone harbors extreme brand loyalty. Many battles have been fought in the Peanut Butter Wars, the duration of which makes the Cold War seem like a brief backyard scuffle over a croquet game.

July 10, 2012
Can you be a Poindexter if you don’t like PB?
In both my nuclear and extended families, peanut butter has always been a serious issue. Everyone loves it, and everyone harbors extreme brand loyalty. Many battles have been fought in the Peanut Butter Wars, the duration of which makes the Cold War seem like a brief backyard scuffle over a croquet game.

July 9, 2012
A wizard and a unibrow
The 2012 NBA Draft sparked an interesting day of commentary along the airwaves and interwebs – particularly as it related to Thunder guard James Harden. I was shocked to find that even some of my most knowledgeable friends and associates were letting the rumor mill get the best of them; giving way to mid-afternoon panic at the thought of swapping the Sixth Man of the Year for a draft pick – even if it was with the apparent intention of drafting Florida’s Bradley Beal....

July 2, 2012 1 Photo
Saying or doing stupid things? Blame it on the meds
The other day, when I was swimming laps at the NSU pool, there was a dad with three or four youngsters. After my third turn in the shallow end, I thought I heard one of the boys yell, “Doogie! Doogie Howser!” I chalked it up to water in my ears until I heard it again: “Doogie Howser! Doooooo-GIE!”

June 19, 2012
My dad just keeps getting smarter
No person on earth has been right as many different times as he has. It’s annoying....

June 16, 2012 1 Photo
Might as well go for a soda, if it’s 16 ounces or less
He may have changed his political party a few times, but whatever it says on his voter registration card, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is clearly a socialist, or a communist, or a fascist, or one of those other really bad “ists.” He’s no capitalist, because if he were, he wouldn’t be trying to separate porky New Yorkers from their super-size soda pop.

June 4, 2012
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