‘Hooking up’ versus dating

By TEDDYE SNELL

The words “hooking up” may elicit a snicker from high school-age girls when uttered by an adult, but chances are, the girls not only know what it means, they’ve done it themselves.

Which in itself can be confusing.

“Hooking up” is a phrase that has almost as many definitions as there are people to describe it. However, the general consensus is it’s used to describe what happens between two people who don’t necessarily have any foreseeable future together, or even a hint of commitment.

“Mitzi,” a third-year college student in Tahlequah, had her own bout of confusion when it came to determining what, exactly, a hookup entailed.

“I once used the term ‘hook up’ as a reference to a make-out session, and the person I was talking to was confused, because he said ‘hook up’ means sex,” she said. “So now I know. At least, that’s how everybody I know defines ‘hook up.’”

According to Andrea Lavinthal, co-author of “The Hookup Handbook,” traditional dating has gone the way of the dinosaur, giving way to one of two choices: being a member of a “serious couple,” or those who prefer “The Hookup,” which seems to be gaining popularity among many young women everywhere.

“Patricia,” a recent college graduate, also understands the definition of “hook up” as involving sex without strings.

“In my opinion, ‘hooking up’ is have sexual intercourse with someone you have absolutely no intention of having a serious relationship with,” she said.

Lavinthal believes many factors have played a role in the popularity of the hookup.

“Everyone seems more casual in their relationships, and people aren’t necessarily looking to settle down,” Lavinthal said in an interview with One2One Living online magazine. “Technology has also been a factor; these days, you can just text-message people rather than actually talking. As such, relationships have morphed into a casual thing.”

“Reese,” a 2004 graduate of Northeastern State University, never cared much for hookups, preferring to be half of a “serious couple.”

“Most of my friends were played on the baseball team,” he said. “So it seemed like they were looking more for the hookup-type thing. As far as girls go, I can’t say, but it seemed like my buddies did just fine.”

Casual relationships may have become more commonplace in college, but sociologist Kathleen Bogle found when conducting research for her upcoming book that once graduation is over, young women tend to turn back to traditional dating.

“Patricia” agrees.

“I think that if both parties are not looking for serious relationships that a hookup might be preferred, but I’m at the point in my life that I want a little more commitment,” she said.

Some are beginning to wonder what the long-term effects of such casual connections might be.

“In terms of whether all that hooking up hurts women, that’s an empirical question that has to be answered,” said Bogle in an interview with the Associated Press.

One Tahlequah mother of two daughters, 16 and 20, has dealt with society’s changing outlook on sex first-hand.

“My older daughter was really promiscuous when she was younger,” she said. “Now my youngest, who’s 16, doesn’t even like dating. She’s committed to remaining a virgin until she’s married, and says she only knows one other girl her age who still has her virginity.”

Cherokee County Health Department Family Planning Coordinator Kathy Ritchie provided statistics regarding services provided to patients, and the age group receiving highest number of clients was 20-24 - 593 from Jan. 1 through May 30. As far as the age 15-19 category, 234 patients received services – fewer than half the number of the elder group.

“Our family planning exams include a physical exam, STD [sexually transmitted disease] checkup, weight, height and blood pressure check,” said Ritchie. “If they meet guidelines, we also test hemoglobin and blood sugar tests. We test for gonorrhea, HIV, syphilis and chlamydia during family planning exams, and we pick up a large number of our clients who test positive for chlamydia.”

Ritchie also said a growing number of clients may not have STDs the clinic tests for, but do present other physical problems stemming from unprotected sex.

“We have seen a large increase in the number of patients presenting herpes and vaginal warts, which is alarming,” said Ritchie. “Birth control methods don’t protect women from any of these diseases, so they need to practice safe sex by using condoms, every single time they have sex.”

CCHD family planning exam appointments are scheduled on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, according to Ritchie. Services are based on the Title V guidelines, and Ritchie said most women qualify for the Sooner Plan insurance, which covers the cost of the exam and supplies.