By EDDIE GLENN
It may seem a little odd that a male is actually writing this story. But really, who else could be objective about what may be the most popular topic of discussion for women?
Or, at least, one of their most popular topics of discussion.
It seems almost mandatory that when several females congregate, they will eventually start saying things like, “Oh, I’ve just got to lose 15 pounds before summer,” or “I’m going to fit into those jeans one way or another!” or “I’m three sizes bigger than I was before I had kids,” or – to cut right to the chase – “I am soooo FAT!”
It’s a phenomenon so common. A study has been conducted at North Carolina’s Appalachian State University to learn more about “fat talk.”
According to the study, women actually feel pressured to talk the fat talk in order to “normalize their own body dissatisfaction with one another,” according to study co-author Denise Martz.
“We have found in our research that both male and female college students know the norm of fat talk – that females are supposed to say negative things about their bodies in a group of females engaging in fat talk,” Martz told LiveScience.
In the study, 124 male and female college students were shown a scene depicting three women engaging in fat talk. When asked to predict how a fourth female would respond when introduced into the discussion, 40 percent of male subjects and 51 percent of female subjects believed the fourth female would verbally degrade her own body.
“Because women feel pressured to follow the fat talk norm, they are more likely to engage in fat talk with other females,” Martz said. “If there are women out there who feel neutrally or even positively about their bodies, I bet we never hear this from them from fear of social sanction and rejection.”
Kelly Cullen is one of those positive-thinking females, and without publishing her weight (it would’ve been ungentlemanly to ask!), suffice it to say she is, by all standards, slim.
“I hear [fat talk] a lot,” she said. “And they always say, ‘You’ve had four kids and you still look like that?’ But it’s my metabolism. Everybody’s different. Whenever I hear people say something negative about themselves, I usually don’t say anything. I usually don’t respond by saying something negative about myself.”
It’s probably a good thing, according to Martz, that Cullen chooses to say nothing.
To do otherwise might be considered arrogant. After all, women can tell who’s fat and who isn’t, regardless of who claims to be fat.
“We tend to dislike arrogance and especially dislike it in women,” said Martz. “Women are perceived as OK if they fat talk and acknowledge that their bodies are not perfect but they are working on it.”
Cindy Burnett works at the main office of Tahlequah domestic violence shelter Help-In-Crisis with 10 other women. She said fat talk is, indeed, a daily occurrence at HIC, but it has changed over the years.
“We’re all friends and we’ve known each other for a while, and I think most of us have gained weight since we’ve started working here; it can be very stressful,” said Burnett. “But the tone of our conversations about weight has changed in the last five years or so. It’s not so much about how we look anymore. It’s more about what’s healthy. We give each other advice about food, and we give encouragement if someone’s exercising.”
Another HIC employee, Liz Felts, is one of those exercisers. She agreed the fat talk in the office is less about looks and more about general health. But still, talking about being healthy and actually doing something to improve health are two completely different things.
“We eat a lot here because it is a stressful job, and that’s one of the reasons I’m working out – so I can eat,” she said. “Sometimes it can seem like you’re being sabotaged. If you talk about going on a diet or losing weight, it seems like everyone brings brownies.”
Martz hopes studies like hers will lead to a better understanding of how people talk about their health, create awareness, and instill change.
“I wish women would worry less about their bodies – while still taking good care of their health through behaviors like stress management, regular exercise and healthful eating, and spend more time learning, helping, educating, leading, solving problems, rising to positions of influence and contributing to society in general,” she said.
